Self Love Challenge (a guide to healing the relationship you have with yourself)

Welcome to this Self Love Challenge, where I will guide you through 21 different habits that can help you get started on your self love journey.

You have the option of downloading for free this challenge and workbook which will help you action some of the self-love tasks.

Over 21 days, you will learn how to finally find a place of self-love and really see how to build up your own confidence and self-worth.

21 Days of Self Love

This love yourself challenge will help you develop new habits and mindset shifts to get started on your self love journey.

It is meant to be a jumping off point so that you can not only see the value in these self-love practices, but start to add simple habits to your daily routine.

These are all actionable, but optional tasks. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s okay! Anything you don’t want to do or are unable to do that day you can put aside and simply write in your journal on that day.

Why a 21 day challenge?

Why not a 7 day self-love challenge or 30 days self love challenge?

I’m a great believer in the 21/90 rule as I’ve experienced it in my own life.

It works like this … after three weeks (or 21 days) a goal should have become a habit.

Once you’ve established that habit, you continue to do it for another 90 days. 

If you can keep up something for three weeks and then ninety days, it should become a permanent lifestyle change.

Self Love Challenge Ideas

We will be focusing on:

• Thoughts and feelings about yourself
• Challenging limiting beliefs
• Your accomplishments
• Expressing gratitude
• Confidence
• Being in nature
• The healing power of being creative
• Personality traits
• Physical traits
• Self care
• Toxic social media
• Dating yourself
• Positive and supportive people
• Kindness and compassion for your body
• Lifting up other people
• Kind, loving, thoughtful letter to yourself
• Dream life script
• Life purpose
• Positive Affirmations
• Reflection

Throughout this self love challenge, you will be given actionable tips on starting your self love journey and daily habits you can incorporate into your life. 

You will learn how to finally show yourself the compassion and kindness you deserve.

Self Love Challenge (a guide for mindset shifts)

Day 1 – Brain Dump

For day 1, you are going to do a brain dump. This is a really easy, but important exercise to start this challenge with. And it will only take a few minutes of your time.

What is a Brain Dump?

A brain dump is simply a stream of consciousness style of journaling where you write whatever comes to your mind. This can be any worries, thoughts, feelings, even plans you have for that day. It is very common for your mind to wander and jump between streams of thought within a matter of seconds. That’s okay! Let the words flow naturally with your thoughts.

Day 1 Brain Dump Exercise

Today isn’t going to be just any stream of consciousness brain dump. Today, you are going to write down any thoughts or feelings you have about yourself. Don’t try to force loving or positive emotions you have for yourself, unless you genuinely feel them. That will come later.

For now, just be really open and honest with yourself.

• Why do you want to start a self love journey?
• What are you struggling with?
• Is your body image an issue for you?
• Do you feel like you can’t accomplish your goals?
• Why do you feel like you can’t love yourself properly?

You can either write until you fill out the entire page in the workbook, a page or two in your own journal or notebook, or set a timer for how long you want to write for. That is entirely up to you!

This should be an eye-opening exercise and help you see what areas you will need to work on for your self love journey.

Day 2 – Challenge Your Limiting Beliefs

You’re going to learn how to identify and challenge your limiting beliefs. This is a really important part of the self-love journey and should be one of the first things you do.

A limiting belief is anything you tell yourself that restricts you in some way. In many cases, you are not even consciously aware you are doing it because you have been convincing yourself of this limiting belief for so long.

It could be something that holds you back from trying, where you self-sabotage, or you assume you are just not good at something.

Examples might include:

• I hate cooking healthy foods
• I’m a quitter
• I’m not good at public speaking
• I can’t go anywhere alone
• I have to lose weight to do (anything)
• I will never get (any specific person)

These don’t come from facts or experience, just a negative thought process you developed along the way. It could have been from someone else’s influence or just your own fears. But today, we’re going to identify and challenge those limiting beliefs.

How to Challenge Your Limiting Beliefs

First, make a list of all the limiting beliefs you currently have. Think of anything you believe you aren’t good at, can’t do, aren’t good enough for, anything and everything.

Now, try these methods for challenging them:

1. Where did the belief come from? Do you remember when you started believing this about yourself?
2. Is it realistic? Is it based on facts or fears? Do you really think this is true, or have you convinced yourself it is?
3. Challenge it with a positive affirmation. Take your limiting beliefs and reverse it into a positive affirmation. For example, if your limiting belief is that you can’t go to the beach until you lose weight, you might turn it into an affirmation that reads:

I am more than my body.

My body is perfect the way it is.

There are no limits to what I can do.

If you need inspiration, have a browse through these self love affirmations.

Day 3 – List Your Accomplishments

The focus for day 3 is on your accomplishments. No matter who you are, what you do, and where you are in life, you have accomplished amazing things that are worth celebrating.

These can be big and small accomplishments, whether you received recognition for them, or you completed a personal goal or challenge you set for yourself.

What you consider an accomplishment is also deeply personal to you, so even if someone else wouldn’t see it that way, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t! 

What is Considered an Accomplishment?

This can be anything that you achieved, whether you meant to achieve it intentionally or not. Completing an important goal, finishing a challenge, receiving or winning an award, graduating from college, finishing a difficult class, getting a job you always wanted, there are so many to choose from.

Here are some more examples:

• Your business reached a goal revenue
• You got your first job out of college
• You graduated from any type of college or trade school
• You did something that scared you
• You paid off your debt
• You faced your own insecurities
• You introduced yourself to someone new
• You went to a restaurant by yourself for the first time
• You made it through a particularly difficult period in your life
• You confronted a problem and resolved it
• You received recognition for something
• You learned a new skill you are proud of

Something to Remember

Your accomplishments come in all forms. There are big ones, and small ones, and many in between. Some are recognised by others, while others are personal and private. Some took a lot of time and effort; others just took a little courage.

If you’re having trouble coming up with a list, just start with the biggest accomplishments, then work toward the smaller ones. If it is something you are proud of, it should go on the list.

Day 4 – Express Gratitude

Expressing gratitude is a habit that everyone should implement no matter what kind of journey they are on, but it has some unique benefits when it comes to self-love.

When you express gratitude, you gain these benefits:

• You appreciate your life more
• It improves your positive mindset
• You can see what you have already accomplished
• You believe in your own capabilities
• You are grateful for the small blessings

Gratitude is about taking a pause, being mindful, and appreciating what is already in your life. You will still have goals and aspirations, but for self-love and your personal development journey, you always want to be grateful for the blessings you already have in your life.

Day 4 Task: Write Down What You Are Grateful For

Today, write down 5-10 things you are grateful for. Remember it can be absolutely anything in your life that you appreciate. This includes an act of service from someone else, people in your life, where you are or where you live, material possessions, small moments of joy. Really anything that you feel a sense of gratitude for can go on this list.

Some examples might include:

• A good book you are reading
• Your morning cup of coffee
• Your home
• Your job
• Your friends
• A specific person
• Where you live
• A material possession you are fond of

It’s ok to sit for a few minutes before you complete your list. The more you go through your day with an attitude of gratitude, the more you will see how blessed you are.

Make writing down your gratitude a habit and reap the rewards!

Day 5 – Wear Something That Makes You Feel Confident

So far, most of what you have done during the self love challenge is based on your emotional state and mindset. But today will be something a lot more tangible and easier to do.

For day 5, all you have to do is wear something that makes you feel confident. That’s it! Easy right?

Why This is Important for Self-Love

While your confidence comes from within, your outer appearance can have a big impact on how you feel on the inside. Appearance doesn’t matter when it comes to how valuable you are and how much you love yourself, but just feeling confident in your own skin with something as simple as the type of jeans you wear can make all the difference.

Every time you feel confident on the outside, it increases your inner self-confidence and self-worth. Which is why it is great to find outfits that really empower you and make you feel like your best self. Whether it is comfort, style, a certain colour, specific type of material, nothing is off limits here.

What Else Makes You Confident?

In your workbook, really delve into your emotions when it comes to what makes you feel confident. Don’t focus on the things that make you feel insecure, but instead what makes you feel empowered and really proud of yourself.

It can help to ask yourself a few questions, like:

• What colour makes you feel more comfortable?
• What do you KNOW you look good in?
• What shirt are you most confident in?
• Is there a style where you always feel beautiful when wearing it?
• What is your favorite outfit to put on when you’re having a bad self-image day?

While this is just for one day during the challenge, I highly recommend you make it a habit to do this! You will be amazed by how much better you feel.

Day 6 – Get Out in Nature

It’s time to head outside for day 6 of the Self-Love Challenge! Before we finish off this first week, I really want to talk about how healing and nurturing nature can be for your mind, body, and soul during a self-love journey.

Why Nature?

When you are able to be outside in nature, you feel more relaxed and can revel in the wondrous beauty surrounding you. It is easy to get caught up with your own insecurities when you are in the office or at home, or even in public places. But just being alone on the beach, at the park, or in the forest helps you see how much true, natural beauty is in the world.

When you are in nature, especially with your feet touching the earth, you can ground yourself. It helps to connect more with the earth and with yourself. This in turn helps you feel more relaxed and find a way to love yourself as you are, a being that is part of this magnificent place.

How to Spend More Time in Nature

It is easier than you think to spend more time outdoors and get some extra sunshine. Here are a few ways you can get out in nature today and throughout your self love journey:

• Spend a few minutes on your balcony or garden
• Bring a book outside to read
• Go to a nearby park for a picnic
• Go for a walk at a nearby lake or pond
• Sit at the beach for an afternoon
• Hike a nearby trail

You definitely don’t need to do anything elaborate. If all you have time for is to go outside your own house, bring a cup of coffee and good book to your patio and enjoy the sights and sounds of your immediate surroundings.

Day 7 – Do Something Creative

To finish off this first week, let’s add in another practical habit for your self-love journey, which includes sparking your inner creativity.

The Healing Power of Being Creative

When you are on a self love journey, channelling your inner creativity can be a wonderful healing part of your journey. When you are creative, you use a different part of your brain, the one that is less practical and dreamier.

With creative activities, you benefit in many ways, including:

• Seeing what you’re good at
• Remembering activities that used to bring you a lot of joy
• Boost your confidence
• Distract your mind from other things
• Spend some time alone

Remember that being creative doesn’t always mean being artistic. You don’t have to be a natural born artist just to do something creative. Anything you do with your creative mind can be really healing for you, no matter what the result is.

Types of Creative Activities

Remember that creative activities can include art and crafts, but not always. There are many different ways to be creative. Here are some ideas to start with:

• Draw
• Paint
• Art journal
• Write a short story
• Write a poem
• Design your future dream home
• Take pictures of something beautiful
• Play an instrument
• Sing
• Dance
• Write music
• Garden

Today, write down some ideas of creative activities that appeal to you, then pick at last one to try out.

Day 8 – Make a List of Your Best Personality Traits

So far, you have made a list of your accomplishments, challenged your limiting beliefs, worn something that made you feel confident, and more.

For the start of week 2, you are going to make another list, but this time of your best personality traits. The things you absolutely LOVE about your own personality, whether that be your kindness, your generosity, your sense of humour, your intelligence, or anything else you absolutely adore about yourself.

Why is This Important?

On your path to self-love and building up your own self-worth, it is important that you acknowledge the things you already love about yourself. Sometimes, it can feel like you don’t really like anything about yourself because you don’t focus on it often enough.

The more you sit with these feelings and really think about your personality and who you are as a person, the more you will start to realise all of the amazing qualities that you have.

Your personality is not just what you present to the world, but how your friends and family see you, your co-workers, your friends, even strangers on the street.

Here are some examples of what might be included when listing out your best personality traits:

• Honesty
• Kindness
• Open-mindedness
• Compassion
• Empathy
• Sympathy
• Sense of humour
• Tenacity
• Intelligence
• Inquisitive
• Eccentric
• Strength
• Agreeable

There are so many ways to look at this, and definitely no wrong answers here. If you’re struggling to think about what you really love about your own personality, think of what your best friends would say or what they have actually told you.

Day 9 – Make a List of Your Best Physical Traits

Today is day 9, and you’re going to have a continuation of yesterday’s topic, but this time make a list of your best physical traits and attributes.

This can be a tricky one, as you are being asked to focus on your physical appearance, which is a sensitive topic for many people. But remember, you aren’t focusing on or thinking about anything you don’t like about how you look. This is only what YOU personally love about how you look or any physical traits you have.

Similar to your personality, this might be difficult at first, but the more you think about it, the more you can come up with. It is a really good part of the challenge as on your journey to self-love, it is not just about accepting what is and being okay with it, but truly loving yourself and appreciating every aspect of who you are.

Examples of physical traits:

• Hair colour
• Hair texture
• Eye colour
• Eye shape
• Body size
• Body shape
• Skin colour
• Complexion
• Cheekbones
• Chin
• Forehead
• Freckles
• Height
• Teeth

Really think about every aspect of what people can see when they look at you. It might be your smile, the way your eyes sparkle, the cute arrangement of freckles on your nose. It could be your height or your long, slender fingers.

If it is something you love about yourself and makes you feel confident, it should go on the list.

Day 10 – Practice Self-Care

Today is all about self-care, which is by far one of the best (and most underrated) ways to improve your self-love and the compassion you show for yourself on a daily basis.

How Self Care Helps With Self Love

Self love is how you feel about yourself, while self care is what you do for yourself. When you practice self care, you are telling yourself that you matter, you are valued, and you are important.

You probably spend a lot of time doing things for other people, nurturing them, comforting them, making sure they know how loved and appreciated they are. So, why wouldn’t you do the same thing for yourself?

Adding a self care routine to your life is a way to practice self love in its purest form and give yourself the compassion you deserve.

Self-Care Practices

Self-care is anything you can do for yourself that is ONLY for you. It isn’t for someone else.  This is typically something you do when you are alone or have some quality time to yourself. Many things can be considered self-care, but here are some self care ideas:

• Listen to a meditation or soundscape on Yours App
• Read a book
• Take a nap
• Take a bath
• Do a face mask
• Get a manicure or pedicure
• Go to the hair salon
• Get a massage
• Go for a walk
• Go out in nature
• Cook yourself a nice meal
• Enjoy a day off from work
• Have a quiet evening at home
• Write in your journal

There are no rules about self-care, as long as it is something you do only for yourself to show yourself some extra love.

Today, your only task is to practice some form of self-care. You can then write about what you decided to do in the workbook.

Day 11 – Unfollow Toxic Social Media Accounts

Day 11 is a very important topic when it comes to loving yourself more. You might not realise how much of a negative impact what you see every day on social media has on your mindset and how you feel about yourself.

There are many forms of “toxic” social media accounts, posts, and news updates that could be harming your own self-love journey. These might include:

• People who start drama
• People who constantly talk negatively about other people
• People who talk negatively about themselves
• Self-deprecating attitudes (even for humour purposes)
• Memes that make fun of other people
• People with flashy lives who make you feel inferior
• People who make it seem like their life is perfect
• People who trigger you in more of a personal way

When it comes to social media and what is toxic to your own self love journey, it is often very personal. What seems triggering to you might not bother someone else at all. This really comes down to what you personally struggle with, what your insecurities are, and what you are trying to heal within yourself.

If you are trying to heal your relationship with food and your body, following accounts of people who constantly talk about restrictive diets is going to be toxic for you. But someone else might be on a different journey and find them inspiring.

It doesn’t matter who it is or what they post; if someone gives you negative emotions about yourself or your life, now is the time to unfollow them.

Today, write down any people you can think of who should be unfollowed, and do it!

Day 12 – Take Yourself on a Date

Today, you’re taking yourself on a date! Don’t worry, you don’t have to sit in a fancy restaurant by yourself if you don’t want to. There are many ways to look at this self-love habit.

Why Go By Yourself?

Taking yourself on a date is a great way to practice self love and put your own needs first. Many people don’t get enough alone time, and even when you do, you might try to fill it with more productive activities like cleaning and organising, or doing paperwork. You really need this time to show yourself how valuable you are.

When you go on a date by yourself, you learn how to do things on your own, without needing support or validation from others. It is also an amazing time to do some self-reflecting and other important inner work.

Ideas for What to Do

Don’t think of this as something that you are fearful of. If you are afraid to eat at a restaurant alone, don’t do it! This challenge is not meant to punish you or make you uncomfortable. Instead, you could have a picnic at the park or head to a nearby museum and sit down somewhere quiet for a quick meal.

Some other solo date ideas include:

• Go for a walk or hike
• Dance in your living room
• Have a spa day
• Go for a joy ride
• Enjoy a nice staycation
• Sit at a local coffee shop

Some of these you could do today, and others you might need to save for a day when you’re free. But try to pick something today you can do just yourself.

Day 13 – List the Positive and Supportive People in Your Life

For day 13, let’s focus on the people in your life who help you to love yourself as you are. These are the supportive people, the compassionate people, the ones who never let you talk bad about yourself.

In your life, you will come across many different types of people. And while all of them are there to teach you a lesson, not all of them are going to be supportive of your self love journey. Even if you don’t tell anyone you are on this journey, you will start to notice the people who lift you up without you even having to ask, who always support and love you just as you are, and the people who don’t.

This is a difficult journey to be on, but one that can be life changing. However, you really need to have positive people on your side if you don’t want to fall back into that dark comfort of your insecurities and feeling like you’re not good enough.

So today, you will be celebrating and acknowledging all those amazing people in your life who are making this self-love journey so much easier. By writing down their names, you are thinking about them and all the ways they have helped you, to return the favour someday. It also lets you see how loved and valued you are by the people whose opinions matter almost as much as the opinion you have about yourself.

Ideas of people who might be on this list:

• Friends
• Family members
• Significant other
• Parents or kids
• Teachers
• Neighbours
• Co-workers
• Online friends
• Support group
• Counsellor or doctor

There will likely be a small handful of people you think of right away, like your sister or your best friend or significant other, but then the others will start popping into your head. Think of anyone positive in your life, who always seems to lift you up and make you feel better about yourself no matter what.

Those are the people who go on this list.

Day 14 – Do Something Good for Your Body

Let’s finish off the second week of the Self Love Challenge with some kindness and compassion for your body.

This is one of those more tangible habits you can add to your routine not just during this challenge, but long after it’s over. Being kind to yourself isn’t just how you talk to yourself, but how you treat yourself. We’re not talking about going on a diet or starting a rigorous fitness routine, but finding a way to be more compassionate to your body.

Here are some ideas of what you can do to treat your body with kindness and love:

• Drink more water

Water is one of the very best things you can give to your body. You need hydration, and your body will love you for this one.

• Go for a walk

Stretch those muscles! While any form of exercise is amazing for you, walks are great because you get outside, move your body, but still do it in a gentle way. If you are unable to walk, try doing some gentle sitting exercises.

• Go to sleep earlier

Try to get ready for bed about 30-60 minutes earlier than you normally would. Just an extra hour of sleep can make your body feel so much better.

• Take a nap

If you can’t go to sleep early tonight, at least give yourself a few minutes for a little micro nap. Even if you don’t fall asleep, resting for a few minutes with your eyes closed can be really healing for your body and mind.

• Eat a nutritious meal

This does NOT mean going on a diet, unless that is part of your personal health plan. Just cook and eat something nutritious that feels good to consume.

• Take a soothing bath

Whether you choose to take a bubble bath, add essential oils, or soak in Epsom salt, a hot bath can do wonderful things for your body.

• Meditate for a few minutes

Yes, this is also good for your mind, but your body will appreciate the few minutes of calm and relaxation you give it.

Day 15 – Give Someone a Genuine Compliment

Today is all about what you can do to lift up other people. While self love always starts with you and the compassion you show for yourself, sometimes it can make you feel good just to help someone else love themselves a little more.

Benefits of Giving Compliments

When you compliment other people, it not only boosts their own confidence and self-esteem, but it can boost yours as well. You feel good about this small act of kindness and feel positive about knowing you lifted someone else up, the same way you feel when someone acknowledges something about you that they compliment.

It also helps you to see how much value there is in each person, which also leads you to seeing the value in yourself.

Types of Compliments

There are many things you can compliment someone on, big or small. Just make sure it is something you genuinely feel and aren’t just trying to mindlessly give people compliments. It should be genuine and from the heart.

Here are some examples:

• The way they styled their hair
• Their outfit
• Their sense of humour
• How hard they work
• A unique talent or gift they have
• A big or small accomplishment
• How strong or brave they are

Today, no matter where you are, give someone a genuine compliment. It can be outside when you are walking your dog and see your neighbour, when you are in a public place and really like someone’s outfit, or even online if you are home working all day.

After you do, write down how it went and how you feel after.

Day 16 – Write a Letter to Yourself

Today, you are going to write a letter to yourself, and it could be any version of yourself you want.

The purpose is to write a kind, loving, thoughtful letter to yourself from yourself. Write from the perspective of someone who loves and values herself, and wants to comfort this past version of yourself who isn’t quite there yet.

Tip #1: Make it a love letter. Writing a love letter to yourself can feel a little awkward, but just imagine you are now loving yourself unconditionally, and you want to validate the feelings of the you of the past who doesn’t love herself much. Highlight her amazing qualities, give her strength, let her know you are waiting for her and that her life is going to be so much better.

Tip #2: Write in the present tense. Even though you might not be far into your self love journey, you can still write in present tense as if you are. Use lessons you have already learned, or simply imagine you are in the near future when you love yourself unconditionally. That is the person you want to channel in this letter.

Tip #3: Write to a version of you who needs a little extra love and encouragement. Think back to any past self that really needed a lot of love and support. Maybe you went through a breakup or you were extremely insecure about something that you would later find out wasn’t a big deal. Write to that version of you and feel the love from both sides.

This letter will not only help you heal your inner child or any past hurt you might have that made you love yourself less, but it can also help put you into a state of mind where you are already loving yourself unconditionally.

Day 17 – Write Out Your Dream Life in Great Detail

This is a fun one! I want you to think about your dream life when you are living your most ideal life and are the best version of yourself, and write it out in great detail.

It is a way to dream big and see more potential for yourself and your life. When we have low self-worth, we often don’t see big things for ourselves, and sometimes don’t even try to live our dreams. Today, you’re going to change all that.

You might have some general ideas of what living out your dream life might look like, but in order to get more details, here are some questions to ask yourself:

• Where would I be living?
• What would be my job?
• Who would I spend my time with?
• What would a typical day look like?
• How do I spend my free time?
• Do I have pets or kids?
• Do I have a significant other?
• What objects and material possessions surround me?
• What car do I drive?
• How much money do I have?
• How is my hair styled?
• What types of clothes do I wear?

Try to get as detailed as you can, whether you go through a typical day in your dream life, or you simply write down whatever comes to mind that you would consider the “ideal” life.

Have fun with this! Nothing is off limits for you.

Day 18 – Make a List of What You Have Always Wanted to Do

Today we are expanding on your dream life and making a list of what you have always wanted to do.

Yesterday, you probably wrote down a few things that you could add to this list. You might have forgotten that you always wanted to take a pottery class or that you would love to visit Switzerland someday. This is your chance!

How This Helps on Your Self Love Journey

The purpose of this list is to show you what is possible, and see all the ways you were holding yourself back. It is very likely that you haven’t done many of the things on this list not because you couldn’t, but because you wouldn’t. You might have had limiting beliefs that told you it was never a possibility, or you simply were too insecure to put yourself out there.

It is not only important that you start to see your own value and strengths and learn how to love yourself more for who you are, but to also see the ways you have been self-sabotaging so that you can dream bigger and live out your purpose.

Examples to Help Get You Started

The potential list of things you have always wanted to do but haven’t yet is endless, so it is impossible to predict what might go on yours. But here are some ideas that might guide you in the right direction:

• Places you want to go
• People you want to meet
• Fears you want to face
• Forms of transportation you want to take
• Classes you want to take
• Amount of money you want to make
• Activities you want to try
• Marathons you want to run
• Challenges you want to complete
• Purchases you wanted to make

Think of this as a bucket list for your life, but include both tangible things and places you could go, but also your emotional needs as well and how you have been holding yourself back.

Day 19 – Consider What Your Purpose is

With just a few more days left of the Self-Love Challenge, it’s time to get a little deeper and consider what you feel your purpose in life is.

This can feel like a really overwhelming topic, and you probably won’t find your purpose in just one day. But I have some amazing tools that can help you on this journey to finding yourself.

What is a Life Purpose?

A life purpose is simply what you feel you are meant to do in your life to have an impact on either yourself, other people, or the world at large. It doesn’t have to be a grand purpose where you create world peace or have a new invention that resolves a worldwide crisis. Most people’s life purpose is on a much smaller scale, but still just as profound and important.

Your life purpose can be anything from the type of career path you go down to a unique gift you have that can help the people around you. It can be volunteering at a local animal shelter because you have the compassion the dogs and cats need until they are adopted, or your sense of humour and making people laugh is your life purpose.

It could also to simply be a shoulder for others to cry on because you know you are a really good listener and a comforting person to your friends. It could even be to struggle through your own insecurities so that you are able to empathise with others who struggle with the same.

There are absolutely no wrong answers here.

Questions to Ask Yourself

Here are some questions that can help you figure out life purpose:

• What are you usually doing when you completely forget to eat?
• What moments in life have made you feel the proudest?
• In what ways do you help others the most?
• What is a unique gift you have that most others don’t?
• How do you spend your days off when it is completely your choice?
• When you procrastinate, what do you typically do?
• What did you want to be when you grew up?

Today, you might not find your life purpose, but you will be one step closer to seeing the value you bring to the world and the people around you. You will see why you are amazing person who deserves to be loved.

Day 20 – Use Positive Affirmations

It’s time to talk about positive affirmations, which is something you will use for your entire self love journey and beyond.

By now, you have already been using daily affirmations in your workbook, but I want to give you some more insight into how else you can use positive affirmations and how to create your own when this challenge is over.

What Makes a Good Affirmation?

A good affirmation is one that is short, easy to remember, and always written positively. They help a lot on your self love journey because they put you into the state of loving yourself, believing in your capabilities, and really valuing who you are and what you can do.

There are affirmations for anything you might need, such as:

• More confidence
• Improved self-image
• Inspiration
• Motivation
• Positive mindset

The best affirmation will spark a specific positive emotion you want to feel, or reverse and challenge a limiting belief you might have.

If you wake up with a bad body image day, using affirmations about how much you love your body, how healthy and fit you are, and how you are grateful for what your body does for you can do wonders.

How to Write Your Own Affirmation

While I have provided daily affirmations during this challenge, you can also write your own. Sometimes this works best because you know the wording your mind will use and respond to the best.

There are 3 main rules for writing affirmations:

1. What feeling do you want to evoke? Remember that affirmations should make you feel something, whether that is joy, comfort, confidence, happiness, gratitude, or anything else.
2. Keep it short enough to remember. Many times you will repeat affirmations in your head, so it should be short enough to remember. An affirmation should never be more than one short sentence.
3. Write it in present tense. Always write your affirmation as if you already feel that emotion. Instead of “I want to be confident” you would write “I am confident”.

If you need some more help, it is all in how your affirmation starts. Remember those rules, and start your affirmations with:

• I am
• I choose
• I allow

These will help you write it in present tense and keep it positive and uplifting.

Day 21 – Brain Dump

On the final day of the challenge, we’re revisiting what we did back on day 1: the brain dump. But today, it’s going to be a little different.

Instead of writing down all your thoughts and feelings about yourself, including why you don’t love yourself as much as you could, you are going to write all the ways your mindset has changed about yourself over the last 21 days.

Today’s Brain Dump Exercise

For today’s brain dump exercise, you will once again write honestly about how you feel about yourself, but focus on what has changed.

• Have you noticed any mindset shifts?
• Have you become more aware of your own limiting beliefs?
• Are you able to celebrate your accomplishments now?
• Can you see how many amazing traits you have?

Take your time with this journal entry. Don’t force anything and don’t rush it. Be honest about where you were 21 days ago and where you are now. Reading back what you wrote on day 1 might also be really helpful to see how far you have come in just 3 short weeks.

Important: It’s okay if many of the thoughts you had about yourself on day 1 still exist today. That is completely normal. It has taken you years to develop this relationship you have with yourself, even if it’s a little negative and toxic. Learning how to self love is a long process, and not always a linear one. The more you work at it, the more you will feel that genuine love for yourself.

Related self-care posts

Free resources in brackets (  )

• Plan and manage your self-care like a pro (self-care planner, self care checklist)
• 7 Best Tips for Overcoming Barriers to Self Care
• Self Care Activities to do if you’re short on time (self care checklist)
• 17 Affordable Self Care Ideas (anxiety tracker, mindful baking tips, mandala colouring book, craft project plan, self-care kit list, morning routine checklist, sleep tracker, meditation journal)
• Self-care Pamper Boxes for Busy People (self care kit list worksheet)
• 30 Day Self-Care Challenge (30 day tracker)
•  7 Best Tips to turn your negative self talk into a positive (free chart)
• 27 Ideas for what to put in a Self Soothe Box (blank postcards, colouring book)
• 7 Fabulous Benefits from using Positive Affirmations (30 card deck positive affirmations)
• 25 Self Love affirmations to Change your Reality (25 self love affirmations)
• 20 Life-Changing Tips for a Better and Happier You (66 page workbook, affirmations)
• 7 Day Healthy Habits for a Positive Mindset Challenge (workbook)
• 60 Gratitude Quotes for Inspiration (60 gratitude quotes)
• 30 Day Mindfulness Challenge (challenge calendar, mindfulness journal)
• Easy 2-minute Mindfulness Exercise
• Gratitude Challenge (gratitude journal)

Your self love challenge is just the beginning

Tips for Continuing Your Self Love Journey

I wanted to give you some final tips as you continue on your self love journey and finally heal the relationship you have with yourself.

This is an ongoing process that never has an end date. Self-love is a journey, not a destination (cliched but true!).

It will ebb and flow with good days and bad days, but as long as you keep trying and always treat yourself with love and compassion, you will be just fine.

Keep using your affirmations. The affirmations you got in this challenge and from each day of the workbook can be really useful, but so are the ones you created for yourself. Keep looking for affirmations that really help to uplift you, inspire you, and give you more confidence. Use them often!

Take what you learned and apply it to your daily life. Nothing you did in this challenge should only be done for one day. This is just the beginning of your self-love journey and all can be applied to your daily lifestyle. Use them as inspiration and a jumping off point for the rest of this journey to loving yourself more.

Add more daily habits for better self-love. It doesn’t stop there! Here are some more habits that can really help you on your self-love journey:

• Drink water every day
• Spend more time with friends and family
• Do something you’re afraid of
• Romanticise the small things in your life
• Celebrate all your wins

You’ve got this!