Grief is your natural response to losing someone that you love and care for.
There is certainly no right or wrong way to go through it.
Everyone will experience grief in a different way, the important thing is to do what feels right to you.
Of course, grieving can be painful, and it cant be forced away nor can it be fixed. But grief and pain will lessen over time, and you will learn to adjust and cope without the person you have lost.
Your Reaction
It is impossible to be able to predict how you would react to the death of someone that you love and care for, even if you are aware that it is going to happen.
You may go numb and into shock, you may be in disbelief that it’s real, or you may try to carry on as though nothing has actually happened.
In the first moments, days, hours, weeks, you will most likely feel all sorts of emotions and feelings. This is completely normal. There is certainly no right or wrong way to react.
If you’re alone during this time it’s a good idea to ask friends and family, or a religious leader to support you, especially when it comes to thinking about organizing letting others know, and speaking to the funeral directors.
Your Feelings
Grief isn’t just one feeling. It is an array of emotions that flow on from each other and sometimes happen at the same time.
You will find that your mood can change at the flick of a switch and you feel different when in certain situations.
People who are going through grief often say they have ‘good and bad’ times.
You may sometimes feel:
- Sad
- Numb
- Shocked
- Angry
- Relieved
- Guilty
- Resentful
- Anxious
- Agitated
- Calm
- Tired
- Lacking in purpose
You may also find it more difficult to focus and carry out tasks that you would consider easy.
There is no right or wrong emotion, they are all different for each individual and so is the time frame.
How Long Does It Last?
You can’t put a timeline on grief, there is no right or wrong answer for this.
You may find that you feel differently for months or even years after.
Gradually people find that their feeling of grief is still there, however, they are easier to cope with.
These feelings may be stronger at times like anniversaries, birthdays, or special locations.
Thinking About Your Lost Love One
When you lose someone you love it can feel like part of your life has stopped.
It’s not a bad thing to think about the one you have lost, in fact, it can help you to grieve.
Looking at photos and talking about them are just two of the ways you can treasure memories. A lot of people find it comforting to do this.
Find a mindfulness activity that works for you. This will help you get out of your head and into the here and now.
Losing someone you love is never easy, and it’s not something that anyone can tell you how to deal with.
Remember that you are not alone and if you need to, don’t feel afraid to reach out for support.